New DNA Testing Reveals Not Only Your Ancestry But Your Gender

San Fransisco, CA

While some websites like Ancestry.com and 23andme.com offer DNA testing to reveal your ethnic heritage, WhatsMyGender.com takes a different approach, and it is quickly growing in popularity. Danae Somerset, a trans-woman who identifies as pansexual, but also at one point identified as asexual, sings the praises of this new Gender Identity service, “I have explored so many different gender identities, but none of them felt right, and I always just wished there was some way, to like, really know what my gender was.”

Ze (the preferred pronoun Danae goes by) was overjoyed when ze discovered WhatsMyGender.com. “I immediately stopped writing a Facebook post on micro-aggressions from the Patriarchy, and ordered my DNA testing kit from them for such a reasonable $99.” Within a few days ze received the kit, filled up the vial with zir saliva, and within days was emailed the results. “I was giddy with excitement, and felt waves of self-discovery wash over me as I found out that I was male. There it was, XY chromosomes, meaning I’m a man.”

Danae has now embraced his newfound gender identity, and has changed his name back to what his parents named him: Dan. He is now going by cis-male gender pronouns. Alan Fagan, CEO of WhatsMyGender.com, told reporters that they are getting stories like this everyday from satisfied customers. “This is really the cutting edge of what the implications are for DNA,” he said. “There’s nothing quite like the closure that you get from finally knowing, for certain, your gender. It is like landing at your destination, after a trip of self-discovery.”

At this point, WhatsMyGender.com has only received a very few negative reviews. One in particular was disappointed to discover that there were really only two genders. “I feel like this is false advertising,” the reviewer said, “We’ve been told we can be whatever we want, and now we find out that there’s only two genders, man, this is so paradox shifting.”